DYING TO SELF...

...is a very dificult thing to do.

When you die to self, you die alone... you have to be alone... you are in fact committing suicide of your own will.

It is painful... it is sorrowful... it is mournful... the degree of your pain and sorrow will, of course, depend on what it is that you perceive God is requiring you to sacrifice or deny yourself.

Jesus experienced it at Gethzemane. He had chosen to give up his right to live, even though His will rebelled against it... His life was not taken from Him, He gave it up:

            "Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again.
             No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and
             I have power to take it up again. This commandment I received rom My Father." John
             10:17-18

And even though He knew all that, He still cried out before He died:

              "Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me, nevertheless,
               not what I will, but what You will." Mark 14:36,

and

                "Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save Me from this hour?'
                But for this purpose I came to this hour." John 12:27

and although suffering the severest form of rejection, He persevered:

                  "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?"  Mark 15:34

You will know and understand that you are alone. That is part of the price to be paid when you die to self. But you will be comforted by the knowledge that you are not the first to endure this experience; that Jesus had set the perfect example, the diference being that He was without sin and had taken on Himself all our sins, sorows, weaknesses, diseases, unrighteousness and iniquities. You will also be comforted by the assurance that if this is God's will for your life, then He is able to see you through the experience. Then when you take up your life again, you do so as Jesus did - victorious by the power of the Holy Spirit.

                   "For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds
                    through Christ." 2 Cor. 1:5

It is necessary to understand that it may take some time between the act of crucifying yourself and dying to self. This drawn out, painful process may be a valuable lesson to those watching you die. They will be watching you - closely - some prayerfully with compassion, others to hand you a sponge with vinegar for your thirst. Still others may even be mocking, or flinging hurtful and painful words at you, spitting at you, gleefully spreading the news of your demise, and enjoying your pain and discomfort while you are suffering. Hang in there... there will be a time of resurrection in His power. God is busy with His plan for your life.

                     "... that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship
                     of His sufferings, being conformed to His death if, by any means, I may attain
                     to the resurrection from the dead." Phil. 3:10

Thank you, Lord, for giving us the strength to lay down our own wills, submit toYour will, die to self, even though we may kick and struggle and mourn and weep and rebel against doing so; though it be against every desire and longing within us. Thank you for resurrection power in and through the Holy Spirit.