Looking back on this day, I felt a surge of frustration. I thought about it for a few seconds, wondering what was causing the dissatisfaction within and with myself, this feeling of incompetence, of not having achieved enough in the day; not having been the best I could have been in any and all ways.
Do you ever feel like that?
I'm sure at least some of you have experienced similar feelings...
I was forced to admit that it was because I experienced anger against a colleague rising within me today...
Was it my conscious spurring these feelings of inadequacy? Or was it my spirit revolting against my not being able to 'be more than a conqueror'? Maybe both... it sickens me when I feel that I am not living up to who I am in Christ. There is definitely also a good measure of remorse somewhere deep inside...
Have you noticed that it's usually not the things we do that causes the most frustration - but the things we fail to do?
But then I was gently reminded that even the great apostle Paul had occasion to say "the things I will, I do not, and the things I will not, I do" - or words to this effect.
What to do about it? Repent, of course, with remorse, accept forgiveness and start afresh.
I was also reminded of a verse in the Psalms:
"...I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness." Ps. 17:15
I am sure it will not be in this lifetime, but the vision is there.....and one day, when all things have been stripped away, and we face our Redeemer...the vision is there!
Thank You, Lord, that you are longsuffering with our weaknesses, and forgiving of our tresspasses.
Help us to daily be conformed more and more to Your likeness.
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